Imagination Curiosity and Infinite Possibilities

You and I both know that imagination all by itself has unlimited possibility.  When was the last time you really used yours?  Do you know that most people have about 90% of the same thoughts day after day?  Unless you are in the arts, and creating on a regular basis you probably fall into that category. Scary! Huh?

Think about your day, the routine of your day.  Most of us have our lives down to a system of one sort or another; you know the drill.. . . get up, shower, brush your teeth… in some order.  Within that system we typically have the routines or jobs  we
love and those we dread.  There are subsets within the system… you know relationships, work, family.  We may get imaginative if we are planning a vacation, or a party, or we may hire someone to do that for us because we are
too busy doing what is required on the list every day.

In fact, let’s look at the definition.  Imagination is the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality. What would it be like if you could rekindle your
imagination?  Who has time for that? You may ask, ”Why would I want to? I am not a creative person! What is the point?”

I am glad that you are asking why, because at least that means you are curious.  Let me give you Webster’s definition of curious;
there are three.   1.  Eager to learn; 2. Unduly inquisitive; prying; 3. Arousing interest because of novelty.    Read
this again! Does anyone want to appear unduly prying,  or feel as though they are arousing interest because they are a novelty?   I contend that even when we allow ourselves curiosity,  we are restricted by the parameters of what it means to be a good person in polite society.  Curiosity is pretty much bred out of us accept in structured or controlled environments, in which case it is no longer genuine but contrived.

We are told from little that too much curiosity can get us into trouble.  So we learn to do what is
in front of us, do what we are told and taught in good faith; doing this will get us the success we aspire to. We stop asking questions, at least questions that don’t allow for an answer we already think we know.  I believe that when we go along with this
guidance,  which most children do, a piece of us dies; that innocent childlike Essence within us is given no room to
play beyond our early years; not unless we carve it out for ourselves and make it happen.

In my work as a psychotherapist and a healer of deeply hidden emotions; as well as in my personal life the reactivation of my
imagination has meant everything to me. I remember the first summer my son came home from college after my
husband and I had separated.  He was sullen, and did not speak to me much unless it came out angry.  He was also displaying typical teenage boy behavior of not picking up after himself and not actively looking for a summer job.  If the family hadn’t been going through a major adjustment, I might have just a harassed him.  Instead, I decided to allow my imagination to
help me. I began to ask my inner wisdom  ”What can I say to him that would create a door way into his silence that wouldn’t
offend him or make our relationship more tenuous?” By living in this question for a few day and not succumbing to my frustration, one morning upon waking a simple idea came to me.  I asked him if I could ask him a question, and when he said yes I asked, “Are you not talking to me because you are mad at me or because you are just mad?”  His response, “I am just mad.” I sighed in
relief and told him, I was happy it wasn’t me, and I was here for him.  Within a few minutes he started to talk. His talking
to me came from a place of trust with him, because I was simply curious without an agenda.  This short conversation set
the stage for a heartfelt  summer versus one of adversity.   It took a couple of days of asking myself the question, and searching for a new way of being with my young adult son to come up with something that simple.  However, the time and result were well worth it.

I contend that without our curiosity, our unabashed, (without  judgment or preconceived notions)  ability to ask, “what is this?’  To ask,  even when this is something we have seen a hundred time before and we think we know, but we want to see with new eyes;  we are very close to being an automaton;  a human machine that does pretty much the same thing everyday.

When we are willing to ask, “What is this?” When we ask with genuine willingness to put aside whatever we think we know and be willing to allow our inner wisdom to form  a mental image of something not present to our senses or current reality,  we open a window to a new sense of aliveness.  When I was willing to assume I didn’t know what was going on in my son and start from there,  it opened a doorway into a summer of conversation versus stress. When we are willing to use curiosity coupled with imagination, we are activating our right brain, and bringing a new balance into our bodies.  We activate an aliveness within ourselves that creates satisfaction and a sense of connection.  Curiosity, combined with a willingness to be imaginative in ways we think or believe we have forgotten, opens doors of infinite possibilities in what ever area of our life is stale, or stifling and dreadful. Try it! See what your inner wisdom will bring alive in you.

A great resource for activating your right brain and imagination is “Breaking The Rules” by Kurt Wright.

This blog is a reprint of a post created as a guest writer for Captain Curious 7/9/2011

http://susantblake.com/captains-curious-the-reactivation-of-my-imagination/

 

Imagination Curiosity and Infinite Possibilities

You and I both know that imagination all by itself has unlimited possibility.  When was the last time you really used yours?  Do you know that most people have about 90% of the same thoughts day after day?  Unless you are in the arts, and creating on a regular basis you probably fall into that category. Scary! Huh?

Think about your day, the routine of your day.  Most of us have our lives down to a system of one sort or another; you know the drill.. . . get up, shower, brush your teeth… in some order.  Within that system we typically have the routines or jobs  we
love and those we dread.  There are subsets within the system… you know relationships, work, family.  We may get imaginative if we are planning a vacation, or a party, or we may hire someone to do that for us because we are
too busy doing what is required on the list every day.

In fact, let’s look at the definition.  Imagination is the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality. What would it be like if you could rekindle your
imagination?  Who has time for that? You may ask, ”Why would I want to? I am not a creative person! What is the point?”

I am glad that you are asking why, because at least that means you are curious.  Let me give you Webster’s definition of curious;
there are three.   1.  Eager to learn; 2. Unduly inquisitive; prying; 3. Arousing interest because of novelty.    Read
this again! Does anyone want to appear unduly prying,  or feel as though they are arousing interest because they are a novelty?   I contend that even when we allow ourselves curiosity,  we are restricted by the parameters of what it means to be a good person in polite society.  Curiosity is pretty much bred out of us accept in structured or controlled environments, in which case it is no longer genuine but contrived.

We are told from little that too much curiosity can get us into trouble.  So we learn to do what is
in front of us, do what we are told and taught in good faith; doing this will get us the success we aspire to. We stop asking questions, at least questions that don’t allow for an answer we already think we know.  I believe that when we go along with this
guidance,  which most children do, a piece of us dies; that innocent childlike Essence within us is given no room to
play beyond our early years; not unless we carve it out for ourselves and make it happen.

In my work as a psychotherapist and a healer of deeply hidden emotions; as well as in my personal life the reactivation of my
imagination has meant everything to me. I remember the first summer my son came home from college after my
husband and I had separated.  He was sullen, and did not speak to me much unless it came out angry.  He was also displaying typical teenage boy behavior of not picking up after himself and not actively looking for a summer job.  If the family hadn’t been going through a major adjustment, I might have just a harassed him.  Instead, I decided to allow my imagination to
help me. I began to ask my inner wisdom  ”What can I say to him that would create a door way into his silence that wouldn’t
offend him or make our relationship more tenuous?” By living in this question for a few day and not succumbing to my frustration, one morning upon waking a simple idea came to me.  I asked him if I could ask him a question, and when he said yes I asked, “Are you not talking to me because you are mad at me or because you are just mad?”  His response, “I am just mad.” I sighed in
relief and told him, I was happy it wasn’t me, and I was here for him.  Within a few minutes he started to talk. His talking
to me came from a place of trust with him, because I was simply curious without an agenda.  This short conversation set
the stage for a heartfelt  summer versus one of adversity.   It took a couple of days of asking myself the question, and searching for a new way of being with my young adult son to come up with something that simple.  However, the time and result were well worth it.

I contend that without our curiosity, our unabashed, (without  judgment or preconceived notions)  ability to ask, “what is this?’  To ask,  even when this is something we have seen a hundred time before and we think we know, but we want to see with new eyes;  we are very close to being an automaton;  a human machine that does pretty much the same thing everyday.

When we are willing to ask, “What is this?” When we ask with genuine willingness to put aside whatever we think we know and be willing to allow our inner wisdom to form  a mental image of something not present to our senses or current reality,  we open a window to a new sense of aliveness.  When I was willing to assume I didn’t know what was going on in my son and start from there,  it opened a doorway into a summer of conversation versus stress. When we are willing to use curiosity coupled with imagination, we are activating our right brain, and bringing a new balance into our bodies.  We activate an aliveness within ourselves that creates satisfaction and a sense of connection.  Curiosity, combined with a willingness to be imaginative in ways we think or believe we have forgotten, opens doors of infinite possibilities in what ever area of our life is stale, or stifling and dreadful. Try it! See what your inner wisdom will bring alive in you.

A great resource for activating your right brain and imagination is “Breaking The Rules” by Kurt Wright.

This blog is a copy of a article written as a guest host of Captain Curious  http://susantblake.com/captains-curious-the-reactivation-of-my-imagination/

Imagination Curiosity and Infinite Possibilities

You and I both know that imagination all by itself has unlimited possibility.  When was the last time you really used yours?  Do you know that most people have about 90% of the same thoughts day after day?  Unless you are in the arts, and creating on a regular basis you probably fall into that category. Scary! Huh?

Think about your day, the routine of your day.  Most of us have our lives down to a system of one sort or another; you know the drill.. . . get up, shower, brush your teeth… in some order.  Within that system we typically have the routines or jobs  we
love and those we dread.  There are subsets within the system… you know relationships, work, family.  We may get imaginative if we are planning a vacation, or a party, or we may hire someone to do that for us because we are
too busy doing what is required on the list every day.

In fact, let’s look at the definition.  Imagination is the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality. What would it be like if you could rekindle your
imagination?  Who has time for that? You may ask, ”Why would I want to? I am not a creative person! What is the point?”

I am glad that you are asking why, because at least that means you are curious.  Let me give you Webster’s definition of curious;
there are three.   1.  Eager to learn; 2. Unduly inquisitive; prying; 3. Arousing interest because of novelty.    Read
this again! Does anyone want to appear unduly prying,  or feel as though they are arousing interest because they are a novelty?   I contend that even when we allow ourselves curiosity,  we are restricted by the parameters of what it means to be a good person in polite society.  Curiosity is pretty much bred out of us accept in structured or controlled environments, in which case it is no longer genuine but contrived.

We are told from little that too much curiosity can get us into trouble.  So we learn to do what is
in front of us, do what we are told and taught in good faith; doing this will get us the success we aspire to. We stop asking questions, at least questions that don’t allow for an answer we already think we know.  I believe that when we go along with this
guidance,  which most children do, a piece of us dies; that innocent childlike Essence within us is given no room to
play beyond our early years; not unless we carve it out for ourselves and make it happen.

In my work as a psychotherapist and a healer of deeply hidden emotions; as well as in my personal life the reactivation of my
imagination has meant everything to me. I remember the first summer my son came home from college after my
husband and I had separated.  He was sullen, and did not speak to me much unless it came out angry.  He was also displaying typical teenage boy behavior of not picking up after himself and not actively looking for a summer job.  If the family hadn’t been going through a major adjustment, I might have just a harassed him.  Instead, I decided to allow my imagination to
help me. I began to ask my inner wisdom  ”What can I say to him that would create a door way into his silence that wouldn’t
offend him or make our relationship more tenuous?” By living in this question for a few day and not succumbing to my frustration, one morning upon waking a simple idea came to me.  I asked him if I could ask him a question, and when he said yes I asked, “Are you not talking to me because you are mad at me or because you are just mad?”  His response, “I am just mad.” I sighed in
relief and told him, I was happy it wasn’t me, and I was here for him.  Within a few minutes he started to talk. His talking
to me came from a place of trust with him, because I was simply curious without an agenda.  This short conversation set
the stage for a heartfelt  summer versus one of adversity.   It took a couple of days of asking myself the question, and searching for a new way of being with my young adult son to come up with something that simple.  However, the time and result were well worth it.

I contend that without our curiosity, our unabashed, (without  judgment or preconceived notions)  ability to ask, “what is this?’  To ask,  even when this is something we have seen a hundred time before and we think we know, but we want to see with new eyes;  we are very close to being an automaton;  a human machine that does pretty much the same thing everyday.

When we are willing to ask, “What is this?” When we ask with genuine willingness to put aside whatever we think we know and be willing to allow our inner wisdom to form  a mental image of something not present to our senses or current reality,  we open a window to a new sense of aliveness.  When I was willing to assume I didn’t know what was going on in my son and start from there,  it opened a doorway into a summer of conversation versus stress. When we are willing to use curiosity coupled with imagination, we are activating our right brain, and bringing a new balance into our bodies.  We activate an aliveness within ourselves that creates satisfaction and a sense of connection.  Curiosity, combined with a willingness to be imaginative in ways we think or believe we have forgotten, opens doors of infinite possibilities in what ever area of our life is stale, or stifling and dreadful. Try it! See what your inner wisdom will bring alive in you.

A great resource for activating your right brain and imagination is “Breaking The Rules” by Kurt Wright.

Emotional Understanding – A New Point of View

We all have emotions – many of us have judgments about  them.  We have feelings about having  feelings. Psychology and Sesame Street has come a long way in the last 50 to 75  years to assist us understanding and express our emotions.  I still believe however that many of us carry  a great deal judgment around the purpose and appropriateness of our personal  emotions or emotional state. We view too much emotion as something to be  feared.  We are told that too many  negative emotions make us a bad person and that we should just stop being  angry, or jealous, or controlling.  Christian philosophy has led us to believe the negative emotion in this  life can lead to more anguish in the next. In business when something is emotionally  upsetting we are told  “This is business,
not personal”   in other words, lets stick  to the facts and deal with your emotions on your own  time.  It would be to your advantage if you didn’t have any emotions,  especially of the argumentative or negative kind.

You are getting the picture, and what this all leads up to  is a life time of denial. Yes, as a defense mechanism we learn to ignore, push  down, feel ashamed or guilty for having certain emotions. The best way to deal  is to deny. We literally numb ourselves from our feelings and choose not to  keep our awareness in our bodies to avoid having to feel.  Over time this wears on us, our bodies and
shows up as depression, anxiety, or even more literal physical symptoms like  heart disease.   On the other hand we live in a culture that pushes the benefits of happiness as something that we should strive for by way  of our accomplishments and possessions, always being directed outward for the  answer.

The most prescribed answer is drugs and/ or therapy. Very  large numbers of the US population are taking psychotropic , mood altering  drugs because it is the fastest way in our fast past society to deal with the symptoms.  Therapy is not always an
option, it may shed negative light on the individual, they don’t want it in  their work record. I am in favor of drug assistance,  and very grateful we have them to help  have never been helped before, but I think that it is critical that we
don’t just stop there and say problem solved., Which is what many of us tend to do.

I think the problem of unexpressed and inexperienced  emotions has to be addressed  from a much  bigger picture and also from an entirely different point of view.  When we deny this integral part of ourselves  and look for our happiness in the all the ways that western culture would  encourage us, we come up short, empty-handed and fending off potential  despair.  By following the cues and  always looking outside of ourselves for causes and answers we are missing the  mark and will away come short. In fact, when we continue to live in denial in  order to keep our fears at bay, we are cutting ourselves off from the very  aliveness that is the answer; the very aliveness that allows you to know the  peace, happiness, and fulfillment that is your birthright and available if only
you were willing to have another point of view.  Stay tuned for another point of view!

Where Does My Power Lie?

In your Being

It is in your relaxed vulnerability
After you have stripped away the anger, the sadness, your story
The circular thinking
The push to know the answer

Your power lies in restfulness
In deep quiet and the knowing that arises from that
In a willingness to let go
Let things come
Let things be

Your Power lies in trust
Trust that you belong here
That you have a place
That you are/have a gift, a contribution
In the simple act of Being yourself

Your power lies in your curiousity, your courage
To look inside the dark hidden invisible places
To feel without judgement and let go
To know that those places are not you
Just what you have hidden in your invisible pockets

Your power lies in innocence
Openness; a willingness to look for new meaning
See with new eyes, all things
New ways of defining who you think you are
Openness to infinite possibliities, in all ways

Your power lies in faith, in living in the mystery
Living in the question and allowing answers to come forward
Living in the surrender of not knowing and feeling safe there
Shifting your awareness from what you think
What you think you know – to what you don’t know
And faithfully letting that be the place that a new knowing arises

Your power lies in the awakening of your imagination,
Imagine meeting the silent, invisible “Essence of Being” – you
That arises from “The Field of All Possibilities”
YOU are waiting for you to experience the exquisiteness of this
The creative openness
The infinite possibility that will arise from this meeting
Relax, and allow!

Are you doing your best to avoid that restless feeling inside?

Who addresses the emotional / spiritual  needs of women over 40?  For that matter who addresses men’s?

 Aren’t we, as women, supposed to be all grown up at 40, have our act together?  Do you find that your girl friends, even your very closest ones, or your family members including your husband, for whatever reason don’t really see you? How many of us over 40 feel that there is no place in our world of relationships where we have a witness to the depths our most secret hurts, longings, desires!

 I can remember being in my early 50’s, hiking among the redwoods on a beautiful early summer day. It was rare family event, we were all happy to be together.

As we were hiking along and I let go of the everyday tensions of the “to do” list, I found myself settling into a sadness. Even in the moments that it came over me it took me by surprise, and I found the tears just slipping down my cheeks, I had no answer to the question my husband asked.  “What is wrong?”  

This experience sent me into an inventory of my life. I found myself taking stock and feeling foolish. In spite of the fact that I felt I was in a good marriage, a comfortable home that we had worked hard to acquire, my physical needs were being more than met and my dreams of raising a family were being fulfilled; I still felt something was missing. I had a longing for something that I couldn’t put my finger on.

My marriage wasn’t perfect, but whose is?  My days were busy. They were filled with working in the family financial planning business, we had built together and schlepping my children to there activities and being there for them.  A few years earlier, I had been so grateful and content to have this arrangement.  Now as they were moving into and completing middle school, I was restless and felt as though I needed something more. I didn’t feel it was OK to voice my restlessness because it seemed unreasonable. I didn’t want to rock the boat.  I also wasn’t comfortable asking for a change when I didn’t even know what I wanted.  

As I began to focus more on what I was feeling, I realized I was bored, felt unappreciated and at the beck and call of my life. I also felt driven to continue on this path for the sake of peace, commitment to what we were building for our future and our children’s future. Can you relate?

This drive took precedence over a small but growing voice inside that was asking what about me?  Why do I feel this way?

 As this voice grew, my answer to myself was “Hush!   You chose this path, it will work out! Don’t rock the boat, your external world proves that everything is alright, everything outside of you looks at though your life is good. So what if you feel like something is missing?  That is probably just your imagination!  I had thought that the sacrifices I was making to create “’my ideal life” would be my fulfillment. I was thinking,  I have done so much right, why do I feel this way? 

 In spite of my internal argument, I continued to feel short changed. I found myself asking for more appreciation, more connection, more help. I believe my husband, at that time interpreted my requests as complaint and ingratitude for how hard he was working and sacrificing as well.  I did think I wanted more from him, and to some degree that was true. I realize now what I really wanted was to experience more of me. I was living, playing out my roles dutifully, but feeling empty inside. I was unconsciously going about my life, and this restlessness was my internal clock, my spirit, my need to feel more alive knocking at the door. The program in me to continue to carry out my roles was so strong that didn’t want to see, I was not even able to consider that I had a right to ask for something different.  I wasn’t able to consider that something different was possible.

 As I woke up to the fact that I felt isolated and stuck, I had no idea how to create connection or get unstuck!  I thought I might want out of my marriage, but what I really wanted was a different experience and I didn’t know how to get it.  I thought in order to get it I needed to change my world.  Thinking that this was true, to get unstuck seemed a daunting task.

 It may feel daunting, but it is really a choice of moving forward in discovery and surrendering to the despair of it is too late to change.   I am here to tell you that it is never too late!In fact, if you are willing to take the risk to ask new questions and consider unimaginable and simple possibilities, you will discover a whole new life is beckoning you.

Check out my website for more information -www.ruthkellogg.com

Focus on Fulfillment

When you find yourself falling a sleep, or in a quiet moment where there is nothing to distract you,where do you automatically go in your mind? Don’t you just hate it when your mind takes you where you don’t want to go?

If you are like me, you may find your self doing a quick scan of your day; an inventory of where did things go wrong or well and what could have gone better? You may find yourself  kicking yourself for something you should have said, or could have said but didn’t.  You may be angry and can’t get your mind to stop talking.  You know that constant chatter that seems to have a mind of its own, that leaves you feeling as though there is a little non stop tornado that continues to run no matter what you do!! It seems to turn itself on full force just when you are quieting down.  Are you one of thsoe people that leaves sound on around you so that you can hope to trick yourself into going to sleep with out having to quiet and suffer through that constant chatter?

Did you know that chatter is a brain wave state.  It is a beta brain wave state that is great when we need it during the day to focus and figure things out, it is deadly at night when what we really need is an slower brain wave state, a quieter mind that allows us to drift asleep. Check out my website for a free MP-3 download designed just for that purpose, so slow you down your brain.

What causes chatter?  Worry, which we know, fear, which we often deny, and bottom line a disconnect from who we are versus what we fear about who we are or what we are capable of.  Think about it! What are you worrying about? Anything that you really have any control over?

What would it be like if you found your self purposefully carving out  quiet moments because you craved the quiet place with in because it provided solace and comfort? Novel idea huh?  That peace does live with in you waiting to be discovered. I am a testiment to that.

There are many avenues and tools to allow you to discover, experience and express the peace that resided within. The first step?  Make a declaration that you want a new experience! Simply say to yourself… “I don’t know how I know that I have it within me to know a quiet, peaceful mind, where I can go inside and find comfort.. I only know that I do and I am fulfilled and grateful.”  Say the mantra  and pay attention to what is different. Life is full of surprizes and you just asked for one! www.ruthkellogg.com

Any Women +40 – Support for Navigating the 2nd 1/2 of your Life

Hi You All,  I am so excited to get this blog off the ground and give voice to my experiences and yours as well.  This blog is for all of us disgruntled, or not so disgruntled, women who are asking, “What about me?” “When will it be my turn?” Those of us who are traveling the spiritual / emotional terrain in this 2nd 1/2 of our life and are looking for that illusive “something” we might call fulfillment.

You may be saying to yourself, “I have played by the rules. I have tried to do the best I can. I feel successful in my career, I have raised my family, (or almost raised them) and I am wondering now what!” I am wondering, “Is there a relationship with my husband that is worth keeping?”  I am wondering, “Why do I sometimes feel my life is over?” Or, “If not over, the best years have passed me by and I am not sure I have accomplished what I came here to do.”

When Gail Sheehy wrote Menopause, The Silent Passage published in 1992, it was a ground breaking, silence piercing piece of work.  The unspoken transition of life that women experienced and seldom talked about was brought out in the open for discussion. The focus of the book was more on the physical experiences, options for dealing with them, cultural and cross cultural similarities and difference.  At last women could talk to each other. With the internet and spoke people like Suzanne Summers we have pushed for better alternatives for staving off the inevitable and adjusting to this change of life more gracefully.

Unfortunately, I still believe that way too much emphasis is placed on how to stay as youthful as possible versus how to use these products and remedies to prolong our life with quality, but feel free to embrace our aging with, if not excitement, with anticipation of the bearing the fruit of our collected life wisdom and coming into a new emotional spiritual experience that propels us into the very best years of our life. This blog is an eclectic approach to assisting women in navigating the emotional /spiritual terrain in the 2nd 1/2 of their life.

This blog is an open resource. I want to use it to provide connection, information, and resources for women, in whatever walk of life, or ethnic background. We can come together, share, take what applies or resonates with us, use what works and discard the rest.  No judgments, just possibilities.  I will share my thoughts, experiences, tools and techniques and beliefs that I have put into practice that have supported me on my journey.

My work has led me down the path of recognizing that I really am a midlife makeover expert.  While I am a psychotherapist by education and profession, I have always believed that we are meant to live our lives in peace, harmony and joy.  I have dedicated a good portion of my life to discovering this path and walking my talk. 

 In July of 2009, I had decided to come back into the therapy business so I opened my business again as a psychotherapist. While I had continued on my own personal growth path, I had not a formal private practice for 15 year. Later that year, my youngest went off to college, my mother past away and my husband decided he needed to be on his own again. I was gifted the experience of loosing all of my major roles in life.  The big looming question became “who am I?” The lesson of have come out of the past 3 years for me are too numerous to count, but I hope to share them here.

The lessons have left me with a blueprint for learning how to experience fulfillment in our lives regardless of the external world and what it dishes up.  Stay tuned!

Please feel free to share your comments and questions about what is going on in your life and in your quest for experiencing the sometimes illusive quality of fulfillment.